Wild Weasel

Well, was that an interesting drive home. I’m coming into town after work, getting ready to make the turn to the stables, when I see a ferret running across the road – four lanes of busy traffic. No one hits him, so I pull over and walk back to get him.

He lets me pick him up, biting me once as I did it. Fair enough. I then realise that I have nothing in the car to contain him with. Loose, strange ferrets in the car aren’t very conducive to safe, careful driving, let me tell you. He bounced around the interior of the car like a mad thing. He dug through my purse and scattered my stable things. He tried to get under my feet; I threw him in back. He bounced back, and I tried driving with one hand while I held him on the passenger seat with the other. Little bastard wasn’t shy about biting – I have deep bites and scratches all over that hand. I threw him in back again. He jumped up on the passenger headrest and waved at all the passing cars. Threw him in back. He climbed up the back of my headrest and rooted around in my hair until I pushed him off. This is a country where they do you for eating an apple while you drive – I would hate to think what the cops would think about driving while restraining a ferret.

I finally made it home, stinking to high heaven and bleeding all over my white blouse and favourite black suit.

All I have to say is, when I go to take the driving test, they BETTER DAMN WELL NOT FAIL ME. Anyone who can drive a manual transmission with one hand, shifting and signalling and throwing ferrets, without having an accident, is a DRIVING GOD.

15 thoughts on “Wild Weasel”

  1. oh my! I cannot help but laugh… but do hope your hand heals up, and the bloodstains wash out :S

  2. Poor thing is chowing down in a spare cage right now – he’s obviously been out a while, because he stank to high heaven and was very hungry and thirsty. We’re going to go down to the Safeway near where I found him and put a Found notice up.

  3. that final sentence *so* deserves to be metaquoted …

    and congrat on surviving the event … you have heard about the men who like putting ferrets down their trousers I take it …

  4. *giggles* You are a brave woman! :) I hope he’s claimed. I bet there’s someone out there really worried about him.


  5. After coping with all that and not crashing I think you should pass the test quite easily, and good on you for stopping, very few people would do that these days.

  6. If they fail you, there is something wrong with this world.

    I hope your bites and scratches heal quickly and painlessly.

    Also, while I’m sure it wasn’t so much fun at the time for you, this was the most amusing post I’ve read by anyone in a long, long time.

  7. lol…no one in the States will understand that line. ;) Yes, I’ve heard the stories, and I can’t imagine having those teeth and claws right by the tender bits. Eeek!

  8. How could someone not do it? Poor guy. I have ferrets, so at least we can care for him properly until someone picks him up. Plus, I’m used to being bitten. ;)

  9. From what I hear, they tend to fail most people at least once, for seemingly silly things, almost as if it’s a source of revenue. The test is WAY harder here.

  10. virexmachina

    Wow? Are wild ferrets a common thing in england? Thats amazing! You’re awsome for having the heart for him!

    Amazing job on driving with that distraction! I’ve driven with my ferret loose in the car, but I just usually get amused looks from people driving by.

  11. wandringsoul

    Wild ferrets are actually very seldom seen in the UK, they’re mostly pets or working ferrets. You’ll see stoats and weasels proper from time to time flitting across a road between fields though. This guy has definately been hand reared as he’s fine with people, very bouncy and a bit frustrated at being stuck in a smallish cage – but we daren’t integrate him with ours in case of a power struggle…

    Also, as he’s an albino, I’m guessing he’s less likely to be a wild survivor…

  12. that’s soo cool of you to pick up a ferret, or any animal, on the side of the road and try to help it! wow.. makes me smile :) they ought to give you a Genesis Award for that, hehe.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *