I’m so upset today. We’re not having a formal wedding with groomsmen and bridesmaids, but I had asked Shaun to carry the rings for us. Shaun and I are very similar in personality and outlook, we’ve worked together for ages and been roommates; I really wanted him there. Yesterday he found out that they are sending him to Salt Lake City to train TSRs on a new program that he hasn’t even seen yet, and he has to leave this Friday, missing the wedding entirely. I know that I’m under a lot of stress right now, but I can’t help feeling that it is a sign of things starting to go wrong.
The disarray in the house is telling on both of us. We have piles of things everywhere: stuff to be shipped to England, things to be given to various people, the Goodwill pile that will be the last to go. I will miss my books so much. I divided them up yesterday; the ones that I just couldn’t bear to part with I packed in boxes that my parents can send as I can afford it, and the bulk of the rest will go to my sister. I need to take the boards, cards and hard drives out of my computer so that I can re-build a system after I get there. There are boxes of wedding decorations and cake stuff. We still haven’t found a home for the rats, and we both worry that they either won’t find a home, or will go to someone who will use them as snake food.
I know that weddings are stressful, and an overseas move would be traumatic for anyone. I am trying to keep a calm frame of mind, but it’s getting more and more difficult.