Very rainy and windy today; my brolly blew inside out and broke at lunch. Walked home after work in the rain, sans brolly, thinking about how nice it will be to get into warm, dry sweats and have a nice glass of warm scotch. Reach home, realise that not only am I sans brolly, I am also sans key. No convenient key in the flowerpot, so I decide to walk over to the market and shop (slowly) while I wait for Phil to get home. Shop slowly enough, looking bedraggled, so that all store employees assume I must be shoplifting. Go home, let ferrets out since I still have time to kill. Ferrets not amused by being out in heavy rain, so they climb my trousers, leaving torn fibres and ferret stink in my good wool trousers. White sweater is all covered with black footprints and ferret stink. I am cold, since I didn’t want to get my good coat all stinky and dirty, and took it off. Very, very wet, and still being assaulted by wet, angry ferrets. I put them back into their warm, dry house. Stand outside in rain, waiting for Phil. I can hear the TV, and hope that our elderly neighbor doesn’t take pity on me and invite me in, since I don’t know her and it would be embarrassing. Realise that TV noise is coming from our house, and there are lights on, so Phil is home and hasn’t bothered to look outside and see where I am. Start to pound on the window, and see Phil looking out with a “oh, THERE you are” expression. Decide against killing him – am too cold, anyway. And that pretty much sums up my day.
Besides, if you kill him then there’s all the mess to clean up – though if it were a particularly strenuous and physical means of killing him it actually could warm you a bit, but it would leave the poor unamused ferrets fatherless and you’ll be left to raise them on your own, unless the elderly neighbor should hear the thumping of the murder taking place next door and call the bobbies (local constable?) on you and then the ferrets will be orphans because you’ll be a poor bedgraggled wet bloody suspected-shoplifter with a broken bolly – only in jail.
Best to just have a warm scotch, forget about it and go to bed ;).
*smooch*
Actually, he said that he’d called work trying to find me, and was considering going out to look for me – I was just really pissed off that he didn’t think to look outside! Men… ;)
My 2nd thought (first one being you were on the computer) was that you WERE outside – so I glanced at the back door and the bolt was across on the inside – therefore meaning you couldn’t have gone outside!!
You alwasy keep the kitchen blind closed so I wouldn’t have seen you either!!
The TV wasn’t on – and I was just about to go and walk the streets looking for you!