the one in which i fail…again

Personal rant time.

You think that after giving everything to a project, two years of my life, trusting that things would be right even though at the end we were owed over £18k in back salary and every promise ever made had been broken, you would think that I’d know better. But no, a slim chance to resurrect Top Sekrit Projekt comes along, and I’m willing to do it…only to find out that things are Not What They Seem. dahdahdahdummmmm…

I’m a freakin’ idiot.

Ok, /rant over. I only wish that we had some vodka in the house. My admittedly foul mood was not helped by a really nasty and negative raid (Sartharion with three drakes up). I’ve never seen so much finger pointing and backbiting in my life.

Do you ever reach a point in your life when you just. cannot. take. any. more. shit. When you have to say “ok, whatever happens, no matter where I go, even if it’s back to the States, a place I swore I would never live in ever again, it has to be better than this”. When you have to admit that everything, simply everything, sucks and it all needs to go.

I so need a change. It’s time to clean house.

7 thoughts on “the one in which i fail…again”

  1. We have an awesome new president, and my house is literally filled with Vodka. My bar has a couple grand worth of booze in it, and probably a dozen bottles of that are varieties of vodka.

    My wife loves company. Drop by any time. Bring art.

  2. Awww, I so needed that. *hugs* I’m still pissed off and depressed this morning, I need to let it all go. Bring on the vodka! :D

  3. Fox-girl.

    I hate to break it onto You, but You have to be naive to be creative.

    Non-idiots don’t have such creative imagination. Your life, as an artist, is supposed to be total mess. So, into whatever trouble You got now, its all fine and exactly how its supposed to be. See how many beautiful things you created since becoming jobless?

    Take care, and drown Your sorrow in vodka. Stay away from “?o??dkowa gorzka” thou. Nasty stuff.

  4. I had a friend bring back a bottle of vodka from Russia once. I don’t remember the name, but it was rubbing alcohol. I was shocked I didn’t go blind from drinking it.

    I do disagree with the naive/creative connection. I do think it is very possible to be both creative and naive. But I myself am pretty cynical, and I think I’m pretty creative. Well, with writing, anyway. Maybe it’s different with graphic art.

  5. Actually, connection was drawn for amusement purpose only. I won’t die on barricade defending it. BUT from my own biased observations, artsy people are generally more prone to mess royally with their lives than accountants.

  6. I think my problem was just trusting too much in people, and also stubbornly refusing to let the project die and let two years go down the drain. Well, live and learn…and drink a lot of vodka. :)

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