It was a very quiet Christmas this year. I got the tree and the ornaments out of the loft, looked at the boxes for a week, and decided not to put them up after all. We spent the day with Phil’s grandparents, who are 99 and 95 and still live by themselves in their own little house, and made a turkey Christmas dinner for them. They’re adorable. And that is all there was.
My new year’s resolution is to be in a much better position in 2012, and make up for this holiday. I want family and a tree and presents and good cheer.
A pic from an older, happier Christmas (before everything fell apart), unbrushed hair and no makeup and all:
Well, it’s time for a repost of my favourite Christmas song of all time. I know it seems odd to some, but I love it for more than it being just a really emotional, powerful song – I love a viewpoint of the holiday that doesn’t show perfect white-picket-fence families. Christmas is for the rest of us as well, in our unconventional, messy and occasionally solitary lives. Real love isn’t a Valentine’s Day card.
I actually feel ok so far this Christmas. The prospect of actually finally being able to get out and turn our lives around has given me so much hope. I may even decorate for Christmas this year. :) (I was too depressed to get the tree out last year, and then that just made me feel worse.) I want to dress the house with every bit of Christmas tat that we own, and then before the year is over I want to do a complete cleansing of the house, both physical and spiritual. I want to exorcise every memory of the past two years, and start fresh. I want to be ready. I want to let all the depression and bad feeling just fall away behind me.
I want to be new again.
It’s Friday, and after 5:00 I’ll have almost two weeks of blissfully lovely, slothful holiday. I am so very, very ready for this. AND we had snow yesterday! I am feeling so much better. Plans for the holiday include:
1. Decorating for Christmas this weekend. We’ve been going back and forth about getting the Christmas decorations out, with a lot of discussion about whether it would be more depressing, or theraputic, to decorate (since this is going to be an extremely lean Christmas for us). I think we’ll say to hell with it and drag decorations out tomorrow. We’ll even set up the tree, which we’d been thinking was probably a bad idea due to Cleo the kitten’s propensity to climb everything like a monkey, and bring everything she touches crashing down. But we’ll do it – ornaments be damned. :)
2. Lazing around in my sweats, drinking vodka and pepsi, eating panettone, reading the stacks of books that I have ready for the holidays. Lovely.
3. Playing Warcraft.
4. Playing Fallen Earth if I can ever get the damned install to work.
5. Working on my steampunk girl-explorer kid’s book project.
6. Redoing my portfolio sites in preparation for some serious jobhunting after the holidays.
7. Having some serious cuddle time with my sweetie.
8. Listening to Fairytale of New York another five million times.
9. Wondering where my favourite holiday music has vanished to:
- The Chieftains: Bells of Dublin
- Loreena McKennitt: To Drive the Cold Winter Away
- Venus Envy: I’ll Be a Homo For Christmas
I know that last one seems like an odd choice, but it is a fun and lovely CD. It suits someone who has always felt a bit like the odd one out at Christmas, in a very religious family.
So, I sit here on Friday afternoon, creating custom Magento templates for customers and writing copy about adult toys (I’ve learned a lot about lubricants today – it’s been quite informative), and thinking about Christmas. Happy holidays to you all.