This weekend I left a £10 note in the work drawers in my (locked) feed room, so that I could buy tokens for the lights in the indoor arena. Yesterday I discovered that it was gone. The only explanation that I can come up with is that the squirrel, bored with just stealing my apples and grain, has graduated to stealing cash.
He’s probably at the school right now, trying to buy drugs from kids.
“Come on, kid – what are you holding? I want a dime bag.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! Let go my leg!”
“All you little bastards have drugs – come on, kid, don’t make me hurt you.”
“I don’t do drugs! I was just coming out of the chess club meeting! You want the kids over by the skate park.”
“You’ve GOT to have something – what are you carrying?”
“All I have is my ADD medication! Waaaaah! Ok, you can have that.”