*snicker*

I love smart, sarcastic people. Pretty much every person I’ve ever fallen in love with had a mouth that usually got them in trouble. Oh, I’ve been with nice people, certainly…and I treated them terribly before I did something utterly unforgivable and ran away. Usually.

A good friend once said that their grandmother had once told them (and I’m probably paraphrasing this wildly) “I wouldn’t give two hoots for someone who I couldn’t have a knockdown fight with”. I can relate to that.

Anyway, all of that just kind of related to one of the blogs that I enjoy reading, Coyote Sharptongue on TenTonHammer. This was an excerpt from answers to his Halloween mailbag:

“What do the families who don’t believe in Halloween do today?”

They cower in their attics like Anne Frank and try not to piss off Jesus.

Which is just silly because if Jesus were alive today, there is no WAY that he’d be against a holiday in which you got things like candy apples and Reese’s Big Cups.

It is Reese’s Cup, but BIGGER. Like WAY bigger. And I don’t care WHO you are, or what your story is. Your mother could be shot in the face in front of you by a gang of puppy kicking baby killers, and if someone gave you a Reese’s Peanut butter Cup, you’d be just a little bit happier.

You can’t be sad and eat a Reese’s Peanut butter Cup. It is a proven scientific fact, which is why you’ll never see a Goth kid eating one. They’d take one bite, cheer up and then poof themselves out of existence because even more than Halloween, Jesus hates a paradox.

The truth of the matter is, these people are wearing their underwear a couple of sizes too small, and they’re starting to ride up. They think that because THEY are ultra religious that EVERYONE is ultra religious and that Halloween still has the same meaning it did hundreds of years ago, when it reality…

…it doesn’t.

It is no longer about the crops and a bountiful year, and honoring the dead and respecting the spirits of those who have passed – not even A LITTLE BIT. It is about chicks dressing in skimpy hooker outfits and Reese’s Big Cups.

And you know what?

I’m okay with that. And I’ll bet that Jesus is too.