Being your own cheerleader is really hard sometimes. Since leaving an undeniably hellish dayjob for the fancy-free, whimsical, sunlit fields of freelance work that has been the most difficult thing to actually do successfully. Being responsible, being professional, working my ass off? Not a problem. Staying hopeful that everything is going to turn out? That is tough.
This is one of those times. I know that I haven’t written a proper blog post in ages, but I just haven’t had the heart. Somewhere along the way, my inner cheerleader turned into a zombie. When I really need a pick-me-up, she shambles out with her mouldy pompoms and untied shoes and says “go team, rah” in a rusty, phlegm-clogged voice. She doesn’t turn cartwheels anymore (which is probably a good thing, as the pants underneath the cheerleading skirt have definitely seen better days). She’s lost a couple of fingers and the lid from one eye, but she still comes out to do her best before slinking away in embarrassment. I can’t complain, though. Who am I to point a finger at the broken and tattered?
We’re all of us lost things, at one time or another.
5 thoughts on “My Cheerleader Is Broken”
who do we appreciate –
(will that do for now|?)
Haha – ok, you’re hired! But you have to wear the cheerleader skirt.
Okay, the image of me as a cross-dressing zombie cheerleader is one that will stick with me for a long time to come – so long as you realise that it is the extremities that fall off a zombie first! lol :D
I wish I had magic for you, Ravven. We could all use a little magic these days; as it is, anything I say might sound trite or hollow: platitudes for the simple minded. Seriously though, just keep fighting, keep writing, keep getting up in the morning, keep hugging your man, keep hugging your daughter, keep mentally hugging all of us out here in the blog-o-sphere, watch “School Portrait” again and remember you ain’t alone. Don’t give up. Choice…it’s all we got. Change what you can, endure or “FO” the rest–it is what it is. You is a scrappar, Red; let ’em have it!
Thank you. :) It comes and goes, part of it is purely biochemical, and part of it is that this is just a damned hard time for everyone. Hopefully that will pass as well.