I (carefully) rode Lizzie today, long loops and circles mainly at walk, with some small trot bits, to see how she went. I put a quarter sheet on her to keep her muscles warm, and took it very slowly. She was a bit out of breath, but not panting as before and no attacks. I’ll sick out on Monday and have the vet come out to do a blood screen and see if he can tell what is wrong.

One shouldn’t watch chick flicks while depressed and lonely; it may seem indulgent and theraputic at the time, but in the end it’s rather like eating a box of chocolates – you feel sick and depressed from all the sugar, and you still have to get on with your life anyway. :( (I’d bought You’ve Got Mail on the bargain rack, since I hadn’t seen it for ages, and was in one of those moods.) *sigh*

It was a bit nostalgic, remembering when I first went online, back in the days when it was an event to get mail, because it was from real people and not just cursed spam. I remember eagerly checking mail, looking forward to carefully-crafted missives from people I’d never met in rl, the “should we meet?” question, and the first shock/horror of getting an Instant Message.

It’s all just real life, now…I miss those days. I miss a lot of things.

Anyway, back to real life, which seems to be lived mostly online but is real life anyway. Phil has been playing Warcraft all day with his closest friends (all online) and I have a career based on selling tangibles in a completely virtual space; I keep a journal online, and am familiar with the utmost personal thoughts of people that I will never meet in real life. I email people at the next desk to me at work to ask a question, rather than getting up and going over there, and they do the same…air, it’s all air.

3 thoughts on “Melancholy”

  1. catwithclaws


    hmmmm. I like that. the concept as well as the way my own life is online makes my brain go places. nothing articulate, not yet. but thank you.

  2. cadavre__exquis

    The line has blurred, hasn’t it? I remember the days of being the “RL” me and the “Ether” me. Now there’s just… RLether.

    Chick flicks are nothing – try watching “Wit” with Emma Thompson on a Friday night. It makes “Schindler’s List” look like a Disney feature.

  3. heh I know what you mean about emailing the person right next to you. I don’t remember if we had the IRC chat when you were working here or not. Anyhow we have a chat room now for all the developers. It’s funny sometimes when we have HEATED discussions and people actually get pissed off, but yet not a sound is audibly heard the whole time. very surreal I think.

    It’s not too bad here. We have a few developers that are psychotic and like to get up and walk around and pretend to hit people, etc, heh. Or they grab the 20″ gong by my desk and whack it (which led to a “no gongs before 5pm” rule from HR… seriously). and we still throw things at each other discreetly (since yogurt lid throwing was also officially banned by HR after some went into Jon White’s office). I wish you luck in finding a job with a “normal” atmosphere you can deal with!


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