If you were a person, I would smack you so hard…

I’ve been trying to casually work on some Guild Wars 1 achievements for the Hall of Monuments. When I say casually, I mean to say “bouts of work culminating in complete frustration and avowal to never play that stupid game again.” Then I forget, or someone posts how carefree and easy their trek to 30 points have been, and I think that I must have missed something and I try again. And again.

If GW1 was a person, I would totally smack them right in the face, and not feel guilty about it at all. Totally.

Much of my frustration has to do with lack of information. Now, I know how to Google, I’m not an idiot. It’s not as though I haven’t tried to find information to fill the gap left by inadequacies in the original (admittedly very dated) game design. They just aren’t there, for the most part. Take Zaishen dailies, for example. Oh, sure, the various wikis list all the rotating quests and a bit about what you need to do on them (which is taken from the quest text). What I haven’t been able to find is things like how you get to wherever you’re supposed to go to do them. Basic stuff, amiright? I took a mission quest at Embark Beach which informed me that I needed to rescue hostages in The Wilds of the Maguuma Jungle. Fine…but I have no frickin idea where said jungle is. It’s not on my map, I’ve never discovered anything called the Maguuma Jungle. I haven’t completed all the expansions yet – is that why? Surely I shouldn’t have been eligible for that quest in that event?

Everything through the whole damned game is like that.

I was levelling an Elementalist on Phil’s account so that he could do some of the HoM stuff with me. He doesn’t like GW1, and wouldn’t level one on his own, but if I got a character to 20 for him, he could help me with a few things. And I got stuck at level 15 with no Nightfall quests, sent to Cantha and Kaineng City, where all mobs are level 20+ and travel in massive packs. Even with a full group of heroes I get slaughtered over and over and eventually log off.

Do me a favour…the next time I start talking about Hall of Monuments stuff? Smack me in the face, really really hard, until I come to my senses. OK?

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