from this day forward

Do you ever have those times where you look around and say “well, this is pretty bad”? You don’t want to tempt fate by saying to yourself that things are rock-bottom, since you don’t want to tempt Fate’s notoriously unstable sense of humour. (“So you think this is bad? Try a car accident! Try cancer!”) But things, well, could be a lot better.

From this day forward I’m going to be a lot better. That’s the only thing that I have control over, and I am going to change things. (I know this is going into scarily personal areas, but gaming and work and art and personal stuff are all inter-related…life is messy.) So…

The weather was gorgeous today, and we went for a long walk at lunch. I could feel the sunshine soaking in through my wonderbread-white pores. I need to walk more, I need to work out. I spend all day at a desk, and then come home and raid. I’m at the age where I simply cannot do that and still be happy in lingerie and tiny black dresses. I needs mah little black dresses and strappy shoes…

No raid tonight, yaay. The guild is having one of those “shall we remain a fun-n-friendly semi-casual raiding guild, or shall we make sacrifices” decisions. End bosses, Vashj and Kael’thas and pretty much everything in Black Temple are causing us problems. We don’t have a core raiding team, people come and go when they feel like it. We’ve been raiding with another guild also trying to maintain a casual status, and it also makes things difficult in that we have to set aside enough spaces for their members to go as well, forcing our people to occasionally sit out.

And work…well, enough said about work. It is not a happy space right now. I’ve been looking, but everything would require me to move. I don’t particularly want to live in London, and I couldn’t afford it anyway. I should be answering my mobile, but the agencies are calling with totally inappropriate jobs in distant places. I feel as though I’m drifting right now, not really sure what I want to do.

But I did spend this bank holiday painting the front room a kind of toast/mocha colour, with one metallic accent wall. It will be my quiet room for reading, a place for cats to lie in the sun, a place for me to sit and watch the afternoon sun blazing on the bronze wall.

And today I went for a long walk in the sun. :)

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