Today I have read approximately 5,678,987 tweets and pretty much everything in the blogoverse. I have stared at blank white screens in Scrivener for hours. I have thought about doing a thousand really important things, but I haven’t done any of them.
I’m not a lazy person. I approach pretty much everything from art to writing to gaming with that Type-A must-succeed-at-all-c0sts mentality. I’ll get up at the crack of dawn and work all day…unless I am paralysed with doubt and fear.
That is my big problem: that internal voice which says “you can’t,” and “you’ll fail.” I think that is why I’ve gone above and beyond in every job that I have ever had; I throw everything at a project in order to still that sneaky little voice that tells me that I’m not good enough. Never have been, never will be. Best to not even try.
I hate that voice, but sometimes it is all that I can hear.