Doesn’t Play Well With Others

Erk…drank way too much last night, then couldn’t sleep, and found myself reading and then on the computer until 2:30am.  Not the best day today, consequently.

I think I have problems in my online relationships with other people, specifically guild relationships.  I’ve gone through a few guilds since leaving my longtime guild, and haven’t found a place to settle yet.  You have to reach a point where you say (if you’re honest) maybe it’s me.

It doesn’t feel like me…I’m always friendly in guildchat (though never overly chatty, being a shy type), I help people out when I can, and I’m the most responsible person in a raid that you’ll ever see.  I do treat raiding as a job; I enjoy it that way.  I’ll research new bosses and always be there early, repaired, restocked, loaded with potions and buff food.  I try my ass off…which was one of the points that I made to the warlock class leader that I had a short but unpleasant conversation with last night.

What he wanted was for me to not play Kit.  Oh, I’m sure he didn’t mean ever, but to spend the majority of my time on my main.  That would have been a reasonable request IF I had had a regular raid spot…but if I’m just wasting time, I prefer to do it on a character that is efficient at grinding, that can get some gear in 5-mans that she can actually use.  Ravven can craft armour that is much better than most things that will drop for her.  Hence the request to let me bring Kit into the guild, so I wasn’t shut out from guildchat.  It shouldn’t matter which character I’m on, it’s still me, and I’m still contributing, not taking anything away from the guild.

Shocked to the bone by the request that I don’t play alts, I said goodnight and logged off.  It felt like an absolutely unreasonable request, given that I have non-raiding/sub status.  But perhaps…just perhaps it’s me.  Do I come across as being disagreeable or disruptive?  I can’t think that I could possibly seem like that.  But none of us see ourselves clearly.

It’s a game, and I’m in a guild filled with mostly kids (based on the raid times, I have to be one of the few people with a fulltime job).  It’s silly to be upset over this, I know.  And yet I am.  Upset enough to still be awake and drinking at 2:30 am, knowing that the alarm was going to go off at 6:00 am.

I still have the decision to make…do I try again?  Do I apply to another guild?  Or do I quit entirely?  I don’t want to – WoW has saved my life and my sanity over the course of this project.  Taking this job felt like falling down a black hole, like being eaten alive.  Gaming has definitely helped with stress management, and escapism has saved me.  I’m so not sure what to do.

I just want to find a home, with mature people who have fun raiding, who help each other, who treat each other well.  I want to belong.

8 thoughts on “Doesn’t Play Well With Others”

  1. Well, it’s 6 of one, half dozen of the other. Part of it’s the guilds you choose, part of it is your personality. You take rejection badly, and take it personally. You have high expectations of other players – perhaps unrealistically high, and then you’re rather quiet socially so you don’t carve out a name for yourself in guild – meaning you’re easy to ‘overlook’ sometimes, as you’re loathe to speak up with a ‘Pick me!’, and then a ‘Oi – I said PICK ME!’ a few seconds later. Rather than challenge, you’ll get hurt, and log off.

    But – it’s the same in real life – so it’s silly to expect your online persona to be any different, you tend to avoid contact with people unless necessary. This ends up with half the people not actually realising who you are and what you’re capable of.

    You have to sell yourself a bit more, and become ‘bigger’ than you are, your avatar is larger than life, so it doesn’t hurt to take on some of those characteristics. My character’s a bit of a bitch, and frankly people are afraid of me. But that means that everyone knows exactly who I am, and when I say something, they’re paying attention.

    You have to keep looking for a guild, you just have to pick one a little more carefully – one that’s raiding at a decent time, and isn’t miles ahead of where you are with heroics etc. Plus one that’s not run by a power-mad 14 year old who’s playing WoW with one hand and wanking himself into an epeen-induced frenzy with the other.

    : )

  2. Gah. This breaks my heart.

    I’m an officer in the nicest guild on the planet. It’s big enough to do raids, but raiding is not the point of the guild. It is primarily a social guild, and the casual gamers get just as much love as the hardcore raiders. Any time someone logs on they are greeted by a chorus of hellos. Reasonable rquests for help generally get too many responses. I asked a blacksmith for a rod once for enchanting, and the next time I checked my mail I had a dozen of them from a dozen different people.

    Plus, I love ya to death, so you know at least one person would be nice all the time.

    Too bad Blizz thinks yanks and brits can’t play nice together.


    I remember you getting mad at me once when you were stressed out and didn’t like a joke I was making at the time. But that’s the only time I can think of. I don’t think you are the monster your speculation seems to indicate.

  3. OMG, Squirrel, how rude!!! lol…you’re so nasty. The GM was actually really nice. As for the rest of it, yes, you’re right. I know that I’m too quiet, and it’s difficult for people to get to know me.

    And Ty, your guild sounds like my dream of what I’m looking to find…exactly that. That is what I want. I mean, yes, I want to raid, but I do want a guild where everyone enjoys each other’s company. I hatehatehate logging in, greeting everyone, and finding silence (unless it’s at a time of evening when the older players are on, when everyone is more social or on better behaviour).

    It is a shame that US and EU can’t play on the same servers. For one thing, I would love to get my youngest sister (who is seriously ill, as in she’s not going to get better) playing the game. She seriously needs some escapism right now, and has lost so much of her freedom…being able to travel in a very immersive world like Azeroth would help her immensely. But she’s a non-gamer, and although I think she would come to love it, she’d need me there to hold her hand.

  4. Actually, I’m glad that the EU and US don’t play together… try Xbox Live and prepubescent kids yelling ‘oh mah gawd, fuckin’ owned you beetches, yeah – whupped your pansy ass beetches…’. ‘Ah, you’re English – faggots. you’re all faggots over there’, blah blah blah…over and over.

    I avoid open matches now like the plague. The amount of petty and gutter-mouthed ignorance, bad sportsmanship, racism, sexism and general feckwittardedness is unbearable. I know there are exceptions, like you and your sister – but on the whole – no thanks!

  5. Yes, all Americans are 13 year old assholes! How perceptive!

    Our server is an RP server, and I’d guess the average age of the people in our guild is about 25. Half of the OOC guild chat is about jobs and kids and yardwork. The officers police the guild chat vigilantly, and the first OMG PWND U BITCHES would get you bumped out so fast your gear would catch on fire.

    Add to that the fact that our guild is about half aussie and kiwi. We are pretty international.

    So, no, it’s not all ‘english people are faggots’ here in the states.

  6. Now where did I say all Americans were 13 yr old assholes?? Try not putting words in my mouth – I’m more than capable of that myself thank you, English lessons from an American are rather an oxymoron. Guild chat may well be calm and ‘mature’ as you say, but walking around SW, or IF isn’t going to limit you to guild chat now is it? In much the same way I spend my time with friends on Live, it’s difficult to shut yourself off from the populace in WoW.

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