I am quitting my job tomorrow. Ack – I can feel my throat close just from writing that. But I am doing it, insane or not…there comes a time when you have to stand up and answer that eternal question: “Is you a (wo)man, or is you a mouse?” I’ve been a mouse for too long.
There has been a lot of lead-in to this. I’ve hated this job for ages. I’ve sworn to quit on many occasions…and wimped. But today, after having two little teensy days off, I walked into hell incarnate in the office. The major redesign of the site that I had done mockups for, in preparation for starting coding this week upon my return, had been started on Friday, my first day off. The J2EE developer was the one who told me as soon as he got in – he obviously felt miserable about it. My boss, desperate to achieve some sales before the end of the month, had asked him and the new content coordinator to work on it so we could publish out live before the end of the month. What the hell? They haven’t the knowledge to do it, so it is coded in garbagey html tables and sliced images rather than CSS, and looks terrible, but what the hell…maybe if customers see that the homepage has been changed, maybe they’ll buy something before the end of the month. Then again, maybe not…
It’s really the final straw. Just another sign that everything that I can contribute, all my experience, count for nothing. I am quitting. I don’t care if we starve, or have to eat the horse, I DON’T CARE. This job has eaten my soul, destroyed my ability to believe in myself and my skills, and if I stay there I may as well jump off the roof instead.
So here I go…I close my eyes and jump, trusting to fate and the ultimate non-suckiness of the universe. Hey, good thing can happen…they happen to other people. Why not me? ;)