I am really looking forward to my first English Christmas. I will miss my family a lot, but this is just so romantic. I’ve been buying ornaments and paper, and am awaiting the earliest day that we can set up a tree and decorate. We can sit on the sofa by the fire, watch the tree lights, and sip a hot toddy. :) :) :)
I wish that Morgaine could be here, though. I am missing her so much. I miss her as she was when she was a little girl, so sweet and loving – before she became permanently angry. Christmases were wonderful. *sigh*
Phil’s family hasn’t seen him for Christmas for years, since he was in the States, so it will be a good holiday for them. Plus, Lindsey is having a baby (soon)! You really need kids in the family to get the full Christmas experience. I don’t mean that in a commercial sense, either…more the expectation and joy in the season.
Monday again…and nothing interesting to write about. I’ve decided that I have to get busy and do something interesting. To that end, I checked out a Paris guidebook today at lunch. That’s the first place that I’m going to go. Ireland in the spring, of course, but I want to make that a longer trip. I think that I might at least go to Paris for a weekend. Sounds very romantic. ;)
This is a love letter or sorts to my husband. I just want to tell him again how much I care, to show him the depth of the feeling that I have for him.
You are my world. Everything that I want to see, everything that I want to do, is tied with you. Nothing would be the same without you. I love your intelligence and your warped sense of humour, your thoroughbred looks and your sensuality. You are every fantasy and romantic dream I’ve ever had, rolled up into one gorgeous package.
I love you so much…
Tink, the youngest ferret that we thought we had lost for good, is back.
Last Sunday we were making Sunday dinner for Phil’s parents, and the electricity went out. It was obviously a problem in the house, not outside. We were cooking turkey, of all things, and although it hadn’t quite finished cooking, we were able to slice it up and cook it in gravy on the hob, which was gas. What a mess, but dinner in the end turned out ok.
So, anyway, after we had eaten, one of our neighbors showed up at the back door and said that there was a ferret in their garden shed, who had been living with the cats and eating cat food. We ran over there, and it was her! The ungrateful little bitch hid under the shed as soon as she saw me, but Phil managed to snag her. All her little friends were very happy and excited to see her.
Not much else to tell – I think that was our big news for the weekend. ;)
Granddad guns down terror squirrel
When squirrels attack: Knutsford has been living in fear.
A vicious squirrel which terrorised a Cheshire town has been shot dead by a grandfather seeking vengeance. The animal had already attacked a man mowing his lawn and woman walking down the street, in Knutsford. But when it sank its teeth into Kelsi Morley’s face, her grandfather Geoff Horth decided to act. He went out and killed it.
~BBC News, 07-11-02
Well, that was the only note of levity yesterday, which turned out to be a fairly grim day. Went home with a migraine (barely making the drive home), and spent the evening very sick with it. Then we found out that the youngest ferret was missing; she must have climbed up the wall and out of one of the small vent openings. There is still no sign of her.
Then (while I was lying sick in bed) Phil hems and haws and brings up the subject of his work Christmas party: a trip to London, spouses NOT invited. I can’t believe it. We haven’t even gone to London, and he wants to go there with a bunch of secretaries and salesgirls from work? That explains the distance I’ve felt from him recently. So, I suppose that was the death blow for our relationship. I finally told him to go, but not expect me to be happy and supportive about it.
I think Phil is falling back into old patterns here; people have a very weird attitude towards marriage here. It’s not that they’re negative about it, but it’s seen as more of a convenience, rather like a business arrangement. When you want to have fun, you go out with your mates. Phil’s new best friend, his boss at work, won’t be caught dead with his wife. Phil asked him once if he wanted to get together, both couples go to dinner or whatever, and the guy said sure, but wait until the next time his wife was out of town. Bizarre, and very sad.
Here are some of the recent pictures, posted for my family. The Carousel ones didn’t turn out very well, because we only had the digital camera. The ones of the storm I’ve already posted, and there are a couple of the rats, as well as the bonfire in the park. The fireworks the other night were awful – not the official ones in the park, but the ones that kids were letting off. They seemed never-ending, and so loud.
It was VERY wet this morning. Even at lunch, when I went out walking, everything was slicksodden with rainsoaked leaves. Very dangerous on the damn cobbles.
Not much else to write…I have to make more of an effort with this! I’ve just been so tired…not sleeping, and in a fog by the time I get home from work. Phil seems very distant, and I’m not sure if it’s really him, or just my tiredness making me think so.
We had a good weekend: very lazy, very quiet. I spent most of Sunday reading and drinking cider…not a bad way to spend a grey weekend! I’ll write again later. The problem with keeping this weblog up-to-date is that, whenever I have a few spare minutes to update it, I’m generally too burned out to write anything interesting.
Very weird day today; no internet access (a router or switch or something got fried in the storm, and we’re waiting for another). I’ve been hiding periodically in the library, reading Harry Potter and checking mail. I bought some turkish delight at lunch, and I’m making a pig of myself. In another hour I’ll be both guilty and sick. It’s good, though – reminds me of the Narnia books, for some reason.
At lunch I was in the Leek library (not the school one), reading The Haunting of Hill House. I’d never actually read it, and was surprised to find out what a gorgeous writer she is. We’d read The Lottery in school, but I don’t remember liking her style. I’ll have to go back and read it bit by bit. The part where Eleanor is driving to Hill House (having escaped her horrible sister) and she’s making up fairytales about everything she passes, is wonderful.
Powdered sugar everywhere…
It was too cold and rainy to walk at lunch, and I miss it. Walking releases a lot of stress and tension. I need to get my coat (what Phil calls my encounter suit) back from my parents’ place.
Weird night at the theatre last night, as Phil’s ex-wife showed up. Very pregnant. Fortunately she didn’t bring her husband, as Phil would have been much more tense than he was. To give her credit, though, she said that she was VERY nervous about seeing him again. Strange, Jerry-Springer-like situation, though.
Well, this whole situation is FUCKING PISSING ME OFF. I typed a long entry at my desk, put it on disk, and brought it here to work on. They’ve disabled the floppy drives to keep students from fucking with the machines. I’ll have to find the (non-existent) time to do it tonight.
God damn it…
storm yesterday, very high winds and a lot of rain and some hail. The garden
shed (the ferret house) blew over on its side and the front window smashed.
The ferrets were unhurt, but very traumatised. Phil and I were able to get it
upright, but we were soaked and frozen by the time we got back in the house.
The Weasleys did not want to go back into it afterwards…you could practically
hear them saying “Oh, no – not the BAD HOUSE!” as they fought to get away from
me. Poor things.
don’t think I’ve been really warm in weeks; I am chilled down to the bone, and
winter is just starting.
Phil and I are doing better. I had a terrible dream about him this morning, though, about being abandoned. He just kept saying “But I have a right to be happy,” as though anyone would agree with him that he was doing the right thing. I think I had been crying in my sleep; my face was wet when I woke up.
Well, back to another week…