I am a putz.
I went in this morning, composed a very professional letter of resignation, and as soon as my boss came in I asked for a few minutes, closed the door, handed him the letter, and said “this is my letter of resignation.” Things went downhill from there. I was in there for an hour, he was trying to find out what they could do to make things right, I insisted that I was unhappy and this wasn’t the professional path that I wanted to follow, and I was set on going. He couldn’t offer me more money, as there is none…I knew that already.
And eventually I folded, and took the letter back, as he kept urging me to do. I am a putz and an idiot. It must be like women in abusive relationships, where no one can understand why they don’t just LEAVE. I felt miserable, but couldn’t find the backbone to say “no, there’s nothing that you can say that will make me stay.” I folded.
I know I’m shit-scared about not finding another job right away, that is part of it. I know a lot of of talented and experienced people that are looking right now, and it scares me. But still…I hate myself right now.
On to the job sites…