By Ravven on June 18th, 2012
I really missed my Dad yesterday.
Do you ever stop thinking “I need to tell Dad about this, he’ll love it!” Will I ever have a Sunday afternoon where I don’t suddenly think that it’s time to make my weekly call home? Hopefully, next year will be better.
I was remembering some of my favourite memories of my father, such as him teaching us to do things. Gut a deer. Catch a fish. Dirty-fighting, in case we were ever attacked. Want to know some quick-and-dirty self defense techniques? Here you go:
- If you are grabbed from behind, loosen all your muscles and drop to the ground (if you’ve ever tried to hold a tantruming toddler, you know how effective this is). Drop, roll, run like hell. Scream.
- Don’t try to kick someone in the balls unless you’re absolutely certain that you can land hard and true. If you don’t put them on the ground, you’ll find that now you’re really in trouble because now they’re pissed off.
- If you can double someone over, try to follow it by bringing your clenched hands in an upward swing underneath his nose. It really takes the fight out of someone. Do it hard enough, and you can actually kill a man. Don’t.
- Shoe heels are a great weapon. Stamp back on someone’s foot with your high heel as hard as you can. Run. Scream.
- Always, always, walk like you have a purpose. Don’t be stupid. Don’t be afraid to look like a jerk by being proactive – people get hurt because they’re afraid to be impolite or cause a fuss. Trust your instincts – if someone makes you nervous, there’s probably a good reason. Be a good animal and run – you can be embarrassed later.
There you go. :)
I’ve written about this before, but one of my favourite memories of my Dad involved a home movie of me barrel racing in a rodeo when I was a kid. He was filming from the stands around the arena, and on the second barrel the horse’s feet went out from under her and we went down in a cloud of dust. Horse starts to get up, I don’t, and the camera goes wild as my Dad vaults the railing down into the arena. The picture steadies as he goes back to filming, and you can see me grabbing the reins and remounting. I got up and was given the respect of getting my own self back on the horse without a parent fussing over any injuries. I loved that.
Next year will be better, I swear.